Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
