let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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