I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
