I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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