he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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