you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
