Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
