i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize