you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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