Just mADE A PArabola og urine
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
