I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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