i jhust puked up my retainher.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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