Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize