You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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