Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
