I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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