U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
