id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
