I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
