New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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