ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize