Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
