I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
