Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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