She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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