$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
