It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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