My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
