im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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