Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
