we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
