I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
