if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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