You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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