I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You were trust falling into bushes
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
