lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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