I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
