so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize