You really coming over, don't trick.
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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