Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
