I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
