Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
