Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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