i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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