Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
