is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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