it hurts more in the daytime
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
