I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
