haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
