This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
