my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
