Christians are straight up FREAKS
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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