Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
