Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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