She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
