So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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