you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
