Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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