don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she pinky promised me she was 18
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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