i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
