The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize