it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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