now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How does one acquire holy water?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
