what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
No I am not eating basil off your cock
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
