how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
