shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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