Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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