I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize