Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize