Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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