How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
