my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
