So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
