my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
