so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize