She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
