so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
