well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
May the power of my ass compel you!!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
