You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
