he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
