He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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