Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
